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The Dance of Intimacy Revisited

Understanding and strengthening human relationships is the theme of Harriet Lerner’s book, “The Dance of Intimacy.” – Differences are rarely the true problem in relationships, rather it is our chosen reactivity to those differences and…

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Argue For Your Weakness and It’s Yours

We all have our failings, our weaknesses, our areas of greatest potential improvement. It is important to know your weaknesses so that you can guard…

Presumption of Merit

Work goes more smoothly when we remember it is just business. Way too much time and energy is diverted if someone chooses to take something…

You Can’t Talk Your Way Out of What You’ve Behaved Yourself Into

Actually, you could possibly talk your way out a few times, particularly if you can spin a good story and vary the details and the…

Personal Brand

What is your “personal brand”? What do people expect from you? What do they associate with you? What attributes come to mind when your name…

If You Squeeze An Orange, You Don’t Get Lemon Juice

Crisis does not so much create character as it reveals character. Under stress our facade often cracks and our true selves are revealed. Such moments…

A Ton of Bricks

If you get hit by a ton of bricks, consider how to use them to lay a firm foundation for continuing on. Tony Robbins has…

What Do You Do When You Do Nothing?

The question is for real. It is not intended to be a koan.* “What do you do when you do nothing?” asks what do you…

Regret Minimalization

A friend who is in his fifties just made a significant career change. I was in for a surprise when I asked him his motivation…

We All Go the Same Distance in Life…

We all go the same distance in life, it’s just that some of us go in circles. And if circles are what you want, that’s…

What I Learned From That

Mistakes happen. I don’t like them. I aspire daily to excellence, to improvement, to ever higher levels. However, I acknowledge that daily reality falls short…

All Actions Teach the Belief System That Motivates Them

So what did you teach today? I find this question a powerful behavior modifier. I take my responsibilities as a parent, a role model, a…

Who Do You Think You Are?

“Who do you think you are?” is an idiom, an expression, a rhetorical question that is often used to confront someone we believe has shown…

Can You Summon Your Talent at Will?

In the movie, “Devil’s Advocate,” Al Pacino is the devil in human form attempting to tempt Keanu Reeves, both of whom play attorneys. Pacino interviews…

Blame No, Responsibility Yes

Blame is a close cousin to shame with a moral or ethical component, and should be reserved for situations where such elements exist. Blame is…

Rationalize = Rational Lies

Often our attempts to explain or analyze a failure to reach a goal devolve into rationalizations. And often those rationalizations are nothing but rational lies…