Mark Twain once said “there is very little difference between man and other animals… and usually man forfeits the difference.” By that he meant we fail to use our brains, we do not consistently DO as well as we KNOW. Unfortunately, this is particularly true when we need it most not to be! When we are discouraged, depressed, weary, feeling beaten down can be when it is most challenging to DO the Positive Actions and THINK the upbeat thoughts that can put our feet on the path out of the valley. In my single days, after a bad breakup, when I most needed to get out, meet new people, socialize, put my woes behind me was when I least felt like it; I most wanted to stay at home in my cave. We have all seen athletes “choke” at critical moments, fear and tension causing them to play well below their capabilities. Scientists call this “Purpose Tremor” or “Anticipatory Anxiety” where we create the very thing we fear. Lay an 8’ board on the ground, we can all walk it. Put in 100’ in the air, few can. We all put the key in the door 1st time, every time. Put a gun to our head and tell us failure will result in mayhem and our hands begin to shake and success recedes.
Solutions?
– Awareness is the first step; a fear or danger recognized is half avoided.
– Habit is another. Positive routines: exercise, inspirational reading, and journaling can all form a rock of stability and a lighthouse out of any darkness and be our salve in times of trouble.
– Surrounding yourself with eagles, upbeat, positive, happy, cheerful people committed to making a masterpiece of their lives will pull you along in your times of need just as you will in theirs.
– A fourth is to put extra effort into directing your thoughts. Look where you want to go. Thoughts held in mind attract in kind, what you focus on expands. And remember: often emotions follow actions; put a smile on your face, keep busy, your head up and shoulders back and your pace brisk and you’ll be surprised how often your mood will match your physiology.
– Finally, self-esteem, personal courage, and a healthy dose of “deserve” power: You deserve happiness and all the good things in life; you owe it to yourself to take the actions that will tend to create that reality.
Closing Quotes:
“A coach’s major struggle is the daily battle between what a person knows he should do and what he actually does. It is a constant internal warring between peoples conflicting impulses.” – H. A. Dorfman, 1935 –2011
“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.” – William Shakespeare, Measure for Measure
“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” – Joseph Campbell, 1904-1987
“Courage is key. We’re smart enough to know what’s right and what’s not. We are not always brave enough to do it.” – Coaching the Mental Game, H. A. Dorfman, 1935 –2011
As always, I share what I most want/need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier