Assume the Best, NOT the Worst! Upgrade Your “Attributional style”
Stuff Happens! Phone calls don’t always get answered or promptly returned, things do get forgotten. Do NOT over-analyze, do NOT view others through the lens of fear or even (gasp, not you!) insecurity i.e. resist the temptation to over-interpret events. “Attributional style” in explaining a partner’s behavior is a MAJOR distinction between happy and unhappy relationships of any kind.
Want to be unhappy? Sabotage Your Life? Make of a habit of reflexively attributing social stumbles to a permanent character flaw in others or to a fundamental defect in the relationship (“They don’t really like me, they are not committed, they are egotistical”) rather than a temporary external situation (work overload or brain freeze).
Want to be happy? Pause, take a few deep breaths, and consider possible POSITIVE explanations. Heck, think back on a few times when you’ve blown it and others have been kind enough to believe the best of you and how good that felt and how much you resolved to live up to their uplifting image of you.
“Make it a practice to judge persons and things in the most favorable light at all times and under all circumstances.” – Saint Vincent de Paul
“I always prefer to believe the best of everybody, it saves so much trouble.” – Rudyard Kipling
“Why should you believe in others? Because when you believe, it generates more energy and belief in yourself… and in them as well.” – Unknown
As always, I share what I most want and need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier