Many of us have a fierce streak of independence that makes it challenging to ask for help, heck even to accept help when it is offered. We all want to appear capable and strong, we all have fears of being vulnerable or dependent or a burden. A script runs through our heads, often programing that exists at a subconscious level: “If I ask for help, I am not enough. If I ask for help, I’m weak.”
The truth is we can never do it all ourselves and we ALL need help at times. By refusing to ask for help or by declining help when offered in good faith, we perpetuate a false persona and we teach others that it is not acceptable to ask for help.
Asking for help is a sign of emotional strength for often it takes courage to ask for assistance.
“Most people don’t get those experiences because they never ask. I’ve never found anybody that didn’t want to help if asked.” – Steve Jobs, 1994
“We’re all imperfect and we all have needs. The weak usually do not ask for help, so they stay weak.” – John Wooden
“It isn’t so much the act of asking that paralyzes us–it’s what lies beneath: the fear of being vulnerable, the fear of rejection, the fear of looking needy or weak. The fear of being seen as a burdensome member of the community instead of a productive one. It points, fundamentally, to our separation from one another.” – Amanda Palmer, The Art of Asking; or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help