Virtually everything in your life is there because in some way you participated in or acquiesced in its creation. It may not have been a conscious decision; that level of awareness might not have existed at that time. It may have slowly drifted into your life, so gradually taking root that it escaped your notice until it was firmly embedded in your existence.
Every action you take (or choose not to take), every thought or point of view that feeds an emotion or mood: all of these are choices, micro decisions, whose compounded impact is powerful. Step back, elevate your level of awareness, study this being that is you as if you were a high school science project. Does what you are creating, the cumulative effect of your routines, habits, unchallenged world view… things so familiar, so normal to your existence that you are barely conscious of them anymore… Do they serve you? Are they leading you on a path toward a better you? Your best self, more often?
The stories we tell ourselves are powerful, and re-writing them, re-framing events or perspective can effectively change our behavior. I’ve a friend who rivals Martha Stewart in her attention to detail. All well and good except she is challenged to relax in her own home; there is always something that can be done to get a bit closer to ‘Better Homes & Gardens’ perfection. Perpetually exhausted, one day she decided to choose differently, re-frame, adopt a new perspective, tell herself a new story: At least for today, I’m going to look at it as if I’m staying in a very high-end Airbnb; it’s not perfect but those minute details belong on someone else to-do list; I’m here to relax and enjoy.
Simple you may say, silly even. But it worked for her, she found a way to stop feeding her perfectionism-fueled anxiety, and some version of changing your perspective, your story, will work for you. However, the first step is developing a deeper awareness of what you are creating in your life and why; then you can begin envisioning different possibilities.
Closing Quotes:
“Life is a matter of choices and every choice you make makes you.” – John C. Maxwell, b. 1947
“How we start our days is often how we live our lives.” – Louise Hay, 1926-2017, ‘You Can Heal Your Life’
“Our lives are fashioned by our choices. First we make our choices then our choices make us.” – Ann Frank, 1929-1945, ‘The Diary of Ann Frank’
As always, I share what I most want and need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier
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