Judgment is a choice, the 3rd step of a usually unconscious “Observe, Evaluate, Judge” cycle. Aware can be good, Evaluate may or may not help but Judgment rarely serves us.
The “Observe, Evaluate, Judge” cycle:
Observe: That person is smoking.
Evaluation: Smoking is unhealthy.
Judgment: That person is a bad person.
Observe:
If peace of mind, effectiveness, and operating from your highest leverage point (i.e. Focusing on Big Rocks aka 7 Habits) are goals that align with your life purpose, you might even begin with the “Observe” point of the cycle. We do not have time to pay attention to all the stimuli directed at us, we cannot observe everything. Making a continual, conscious effort to look for the best in everyone and everything in life is a great step to creating a happy life. Let your thoughts dwell on the sunny side of the street and you will find that what you focus on expands; thoughts held in mind attract in kind.
Evaluate:
Principles are simple but application complex; often the line between evaluation and judgement is blurred:
– “Secondhand smoke is dangerous, that person is putting others’ lives at risk.”
– “Smoking is a smelly, bad habit”
– “Healthcare costs are now pooled, it’s not right I have to pay for smokers’ health care.”
There is a lot to be said for simply choosing not put energy even into evaluation; does it really serve you?
Judgment:
Judgment usually comes with negative energy that separates us from others, clogs communication, builds barriers, hinders helping. Learning to create a space between Stimulus (Observation) and Response (Evaluation, Judgment) is a valuable skill.
Closing Quotes
“For with what judgment ye judge, you shall be judged and with what measure ye mete it shall be measured to you again.” – Matthew 7:2
“People who judge you only reveal themselves; there is no need to defend yourself; simply quietly, internally, re-firm your self-acceptance to yourself, release any energy that does not serve you and allow them to go their way.” – NSC
As always, I share what I most want/need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier
0 Comments