Relationshopping
“Relationshopping” refers to the online shopping cart approach to dating, seeking love with the same mindset you shop for a car or new laptop: assessing…
The Downside of the Pursuit of Perfect Safety
Safety is a wonderful thing. I want to be safe, I want my family and loved ones to be safe. Heck, I’d love for the…
Getting Everything You Can Out of All You’ve Got
Too often we focus on our lacks, our weaknesses, on barriers that are in our way and thus flirt with creating a victim identity. If…
What is Your VUCA Tolerance Score?
VUCA stands for “Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity, and Ambiguity”. The term was introduced by the U.S. Army War College in the early 1990’s to refer to…
4 Ways You Hold Yourself Back
1. Self-doubt. We tend to judge ourselves by our rough-hewn insides and others by their polished exteriors. You are greater than you know; you have…
Three Things That Stand Between You and Greatness
1. Unfocused Desire The #1 reason people do not become their best self/do not live their greatest life is a Lack of Desire or more…
Unfulfilled Expectations: Landmines or Clues?
We spend most of our lives in Plan B; life is full of surprises, good and bad. As the saying goes, life turns out best…
Seven Ways to Sabotage Yourself
Sometimes looking at opposites brings things into greater clarity… Be Reactive: Give away your personal power; hold others responsible for your emotions and reactions. See…
Energy Management Trumps Time Management
What you focus on expands, thoughts held in mind attract in kind. Stop managing your time; start managing your focus, your thoughts, and your energy.…
Most Ideas About Leadership are Wrong
Leadership is NOT a position; rather leadership is a frame of mind, an attitude. Most think that leadership flows from positional power yet in an…
The Seduction of Role Suction
Role suction refers to the tendency to drop back into familiar roles either from childhood, or previous relationships or jobs. Common roles are the joker,…
News Flash: You Don’t Have to ACT the way you FEEL
Feelings are more transitory than we sometimes realize. Emotions are frequently like the rain and the sun; they come and they go. And just as…
Who holds your strings?
As in puppet strings; as in who is in control? The only good answer is “I do!” Yet even in the 7th decade of my…
Three Ways to Make Stress Your Ally
The impact of stress tends to follow an “Inverted U”: Some level is motivational and helpful however past a certain point, some folks experience the…
Objectivius Shinium Syndromus
Objectivius Shinium Syndromus or “Shiny Object Syndrome” (SOS) is the tendency to let a new idea or concept or venture capture your imagination to a…
Six Toxic Relationship Beliefs
“A good relationship should not have problems.” “Couples who are in love, who have a good relationship, do not fight.” “If my partner has questions…
Never Compare Your Inside to Others’ Outside
When I was younger, I used to wonder when I’d finally make it to the “Other Side”, that land of milk and honey, that place…
Can You Self-Distance?
“Self-distancing” is the ability to stand outside one’s self and gain perspective, to in essence take a psychological “time-out”. It’s your mother’s “count to 10…
Shunning Inferior Pleasures
I will leave each reader to define for themselves what constitutes “inferior pleasures” for them; principles are simple, application can be complex. Yet every one…
Heart Like a River
Take a handful of salt and pour it into a drinking glass of water and the water becomes bitter, undrinkable. Pour the same handful into…
This is What I Do
How do you motivate yourself? How do you keep yourself going when you are tired, fatigued, falling behind? How do you tap into your best…
Preparing to Be Calm
Curbing my “intensity” has long been one of my personal/professionally growth goals and it is SO easy to fall for the “argue for your weakness…
Five Sure Fire Ways to Make Yourself Unhappy
1. Put Your Sense of Self-Worth into the hands of others. Never, ever let others define you or set your goals or priorities. “My Sense…
9 Questions to Raise Your Self-Awareness
1) When you have free time, what do you want to do? What takes no motivation for you to want to do it? 2) What…
Tell Me I’m Not Good Enough. Tell Me I Can’t. Tell Me You Don’t Think I’ve Got What It Takes. Please.
What motivates you? What puts fire in your belly? Fuels you? Stirs your blood? Failure defeats the mediocre but inspires winners to greater effort. The…
Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen (Part 1) Difficult conversations are anything that someone does not…