We all want (need!) to be heard, to be understood especially in times of stress and troubles.

“When you’re weary,
feeling small
When tears are in your eyes…
When times get rough”

At such times we yearn to have our feelings acknowledged, NOT dismissed. A cheerful attitude, particularly before someone feels heard, understood and validated can come across as dismissive and worsen the situation by denying the legitimacy of their feelings.

Validation and Hope                                       Toxic Positivity

“This is hard. You’ve done                                 “You’ll get over it!”
hard before. I believe in you.
I’m here for you.”

“I know lots could go wrong.                            “Just be positive!”
What could go right?”

“Only Good Vibes Allowed.”                             “Good Vibes Appreciated!”

“Sometimes it’s ok to punt.”                             “Never give up! Winner’s never quit.”

“Sometimes it’s really hard to                          “Think Happy Thoughts and you’ll be Happy!”
be positive. I’m sending you
good energy for when you
are ready for it!”

“This is confusing! We’ll                                     “Everything happens for a reason. Accept it!”
sort it out later.”

“Negative feelings are normal                           “Stop feeling negative! It’s depressing!”
when something like this happens.
It’s okay; we all feel negative at times.”

Closing Quote:

“I’ve talked to nearly 30,000, people on this show, and all 30,000, had one thing in common: They all wanted validation…I would tell you that every single person you will ever meet shares that common desire.” – Oprah Winfrey

As always, I share what I most want and need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier