Negative emotions such as doubt, fear, anxiety, depression, despair, guilt, or shame all weaken us, detract from our focus, sap our energy and drive.
It’s a trick question of a sort; we all experience these emotions. It’s just how well do we cope? And how best to cope?
Begin by acknowledging and accepting their existence for ‘feelings buried alive never die’ and ‘what we resist, persists’. Multiple paths abound forward: one way is to dispute the emotion, either its factual basis or its relevance to the situation. Another is to reframe the emotions: ‘Learned Optimism’ is an excellent book on how to reframe one’s world view. A third is to develop one’s support network: we are powerfully impacted by the emotions, personality, and attitudes of those we spend the most time with: ‘birds of a feather flock together’.
Yet another way is to ‘seek the sunlight’. By this I mean instead of ‘fighting’ negative emotions, fill your mind and life with positive emotions until there is no room for anything but. To be clear, I’m advocating practical positive psychology, not naïve optimism. That said, to quote Martin Seligman: “Pessimistic prophecies are self-fulfilling… pessimistic labels lead to passivity, whereas optimistic ones lead to attempts to change.”
Closing Quotes:
“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” – Joseph Campbell, 1904-1987, The Hero with a Thousand Faces
“While you can’t control your experiences, you can control your explanations.” – Martin E.P. Seligman, Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind & Your Life
“Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.” – William Shakespeare, 1564–1616, Measure for Measure, Act I, Scene IV
As always, I share what I most want and need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier
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