It’s very simple really, a blinding flash of the obvious but just like fish discovering water last: what is constantly right in front of us we often stop seeing.
Psychologists call it Positive Sentiment Override or PSO for short and its opposite is Negative Sentiment Override. Concisely put, it is your baseline interpretation of your partners words and actions. Do you assume the best? The worst? Or something in the middle? If they are grouchy, do you pass it off as a bad day or see it as one more bit of confirming evidence that you are partnered up with a crabby whiner? If they do something nice do you pass it off as manipulation or as testimony to their good character?
The challenge is that these are often micro thoughts that happen so rapidly, have become so much the background engrained thought patterns that we are no longer aware of them. The key to living an effective, impactful high EQ life is to discover ALL the little sub-routines running below your level of awareness and pull them up into the daylight of full consciousness. As C.G. Jung said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
Closing Quotes:
“By fearing the worst, we can destroy the best.” – Adage
“Assume the nobler motive.” – Dale Carnegie, 1888-1955, How to Win Friends & Influence People
“The way we perceive others is a direct reflection of the way we perceive ourselves.” – Louise Hay, 1926-2017
“The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change; until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds.” – R.D. Laing, 1927-1989
As always, I share what I most want and need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier
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