Recently I was disappointed to learn that a team member in a leadership role had been sharing doubts with their team; misgivings about the direction they had given, apprehensions concerning strategic decisions, even uncertainties about whether they would be staying.
Folks, the kindest thing I can think of is they did not realize the impact of their words. If you cannot support the leadership and mission of a company, it behooves you to find an organization to which you can be steadfast. Do so asap for your mental, emotional, spiritual and physical well-being; 8 hours of dissonance daily is not healthy.
That is doubly true for anyone in any sort of leadership role because as a leader you are always on stage, your words and actions creating a strong emotional wake, setting norms and standards, for good or bad. By ‘talking out of school’, by saying things to those they lead that they would most likely never say directly to their supervisor, they are being duplicitous and sowing mistrust: “Backstage words reveal front-stage character.”
“Speak only words you would be proud to own in the presence of those they concern. Never say behind someone’s back what you wouldn’t say to their face—with equal tone and intent.” Rotary’s classic Four-Way Test is an excellent guide for all of us:
- Is it the truth?
- Is it fair to all concerned?
- Will it build goodwill and better friendships?
- Will it be beneficial to all concerned?
Closing Quotes:
“When you’re in a leadership role, even your casual remarks are taken seriously.” – Andy Stanley
“Everything you do as a leader is public—even if it feels private. Assume your shadow stretches farther than you think.” – Bill George, ‘True North’
“Leadership is a performance. You’re always being watched—by your team, your peers, your critics. Assume the stage and own it wisely.” – Simon Sinek, ‘Start With Why’
As always, I share what I most want and need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier