John Bradshaw’s writings powerfully impacted my life at a critical juncture. Searching for self-awareness, yearning for growth, personal, professional and spiritual, Bradshaw’s books helped me understand many things. Both “Homecoming: Reclaiming and Healing Your Inner Child” and “Healing the Shame that Binds You” gave words (inner child, dysfunctional family, assigned family roles) and thought structure that assisted me in unraveling behavior patterns that were persisting long after the original reasons for their existence had ceased. This heightened understanding gave me the mental and emotional tools to effectively deal with dysfunctional coping mechanisms and endless looping cycles that took me nowhere and occasionally even backwards.
I initially resisted much of Bradshaw; inner child sounded way too “New Age”-ish and “shame” was a word that repelled me. However, my desire to grow was great and while not everything Bradshaw wrote spoke to me and there was much that did not apply or fit my circumstances, there was also gold to be found, precious nuggets of wisdom and insight that were terrific stepping stones on my spiritual path. So I took what worked for me and thanked the universe for having sent this wisdom my way in my time of need.
“To hold it (sadness) in is to freeze the pain within us. The therapeutic slogan is that grieving is the ‘healing feeling’.” – John Bradshaw: 1933 – May 8, 2016
“Condemning others as bad or sinful is a way to feel righteous. Such a feeling is a powerful mood alteration and can become highly addictive. Arrogance is a way for a person to cover up shame. After years of arrogance, the arrogant person is so out of touch, she truly doesn’t know who she is. This is one of the greatest tragedies of shame cover-ups: not only does the person hide from others, she also hides from herself. I have never met an aggressive person who wasn’t a fearful person.” – John Bradshaw, Healing the Shame that Binds You
“Your beliefs create the kind of world we believe in. We project our feelings, thoughts and attitudes onto the world. I can create a different world by changing my belief about the world. Our inner state creates the outer and not vice versa.” – John Bradshaw: 1933 – May 8, 2016
As always, I share what I most want/need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier