We tend to give ourselves the benefit of our good intentions, carried out or not, yet we all too often attribute our most fearful interpretations to the actions of others. There are many downsides to this tendency, not the least being that we tend to attract our fears and folks often live up or down to our expectations. Throw in that you “cannot not communicate” and you have a toxic mess. We are constantly broadcasting and we are lousy at concealing our emotions (most of us think we can but then 80% of us think we are above average drivers).
When we see the best in others and call out to it, we strengthen their best. Unfortunately, the reverse is true as well: by fearing the worst, it is possible to destroy the best. When we judge others, we are often saying more about our own fears, insecurities, needs, and limitations. In effect, we are revealing our own unhealed parts.
As the Good Book says (Matthew 7:1-3, KJV):
Judge not, that ye be not judged.
For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
And as the saying goes “We are very good lawyers for own mistakes but very good judges for the mistakes of others.” Take the higher road; you will be happier, more at peace, and you will attract more joy and the vast majority of others will reflect it back to you.
“We tend to judge others by their behavior and ourselves by our intentions.” – Albert F. Schlieder
“Never attribute to malice what might be due to disorganization or ignorance.” – Negotiation Principle
“Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are.” – Wayne Dyer, 1940-2015, Real Magic
“What’s the point in having a heart if you don’t use it to spare others from the harsh judgments of your mind?” – Sarah J. Maas, Throne of Glass, Court of Thorns
“A person usually has two reasons for doing a thing: one that sounds good and the real one… to change people, appeal to the nobler motives.” – Dale Carnegie, 1888-1955, How to Win Friends & Influence People
As always, I share what I most want and need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier