Ok, I’m a hard charging male and the concept of surrender is foreign to my soul. Never, ever give up rings much truer to me!
At the same time, over the years, I have learned the vital importance of focusing on my true goals and not scattering my energy.
All too often many of our
-reflexive actions
-habitual behavior patterns
-unexamined beliefs
-unfocused thoughts or
-negative internal monkey chatter
take us toward goals that are more societies values than ours or represent warped ideals pounded into our subconscious brains by Madison Ave, designed to make us buy not to facilitate happiness or contentment. This represents an undirected life, spent drifting with the current. Live a life on purpose!
When you take the time to sit down and write out YOUR values, goals and action plans to realize them, you will find that much of your energy is not directed toward the things that are truly important to you. THOSE are the first things you want to “surrender” up: release the actions, values and habits that do not serve you, support you or take you forward.
The second set of things you need consider letting go of is the things that just aren’t happening. “The wise farmer does not cast his seed upon rocky ground” (Mark 4:26, Luke 5:8). We have at least 6 roles in life (personal/internal, family/friends, career/educational, spiritual, physical health, and community) and we should have multiple goals in each area with action plans, targets and time lines for each. If it isn’t happening in one area or in one goal, then relax & put your energies into other area where it is happening! Often you will find that obstacles dissipate or new approaches become possible.
If a goal is core to your being, as an absolute minimum, back off and re-think your approach. Frequently an oblique method or counter intuitive tactic works wonders! After all, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Sometimes soft works better than hard, seeking first to understand, then to be understood is VERY powerful as is concentrating on removing restraining forces rather than increasing driving forces!
Call it release, call it letting go, call it surrender: it is a powerful tool to have in your life management skills toolbox!
Closing Quotes:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” – Serenity Prayer
“For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.” – Larry Eisenberg, b. 1919
“Think about any attachments that are depleting your emotional reserves. Consider letting them go.” – Oprah Winfrey
“Though surrender may seem counter-intuitive to making your goals happen, it can actually be the magical factor that facilitates this and relieves gridlock. Life becomes easier and more blissful when you can let go. One of the most important changes we can make is to shift from seeing surrender as sign of defeat, to seeing it as a land of victory inside ourselves.” – Marianne Williamson, Author of A Return to Love