We’ve all experienced, personally or professionally, outcomes we don’t like, decisions we disagree with; feedback that we are uncomfortable with or think unfair or even out and out wrong. At that point we have choices in how we respond, choices that powerfully impact our reputation and credibility with others, choices that either enlarge or restrict our future.
The universe of possible responses to disappointment is too great to discuss in a blog or to give meaningful council in short form, other than breath deep, stay calm, and sleep on it.
This blog is to talk about the one thing you should generally ALWAYS do: Stay in the arena, stay committed to a solution, stay engaged. Other than perhaps a period sufficient to calm down or cool off (and it is an important emotional bank account deposit to let others know that is your intent), if you value the relationship, stay engaged! It’s great to take a break or seek a “pattern interrupt” to disrupt a dialogue that is going downhill but make it clear that you are still committed to the relationship or the project or whatever.
When you do so, you demonstrate the value of the other to them and that can be a very powerful positive message.
The WORST thing you can do, to yourself and to others, is to disengage by going passive-aggressive i.e. withdraw your emotional commitment while pretending to be present/involved when you are not. In essence, it is a form of deceit that undermines others’ confidence and trust and sabotages your growth and self-worth.
As always, I share what I most want and need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier