“I feel so ‘X’ when you do ‘Y’” or “I get so ‘X’ when ’Y’ happens.”
We all make statements like this. I made several the other day, which is why this blog. I found myself wallowing in my limiting beliefs. When “Y” is a good emotion, a supportive feeling, that’s great. When “Y” is a downer, an energy drain, a madness or sadness, it can be an issue.
“When you do that, I get so upset” is a way of giving away your personal power. The statement may be true but generally it is only true because of how you are internally wired. I assure you there is someone over in China who wouldn’t give a thought to whatever “When you do that” is all about. Heck, there is probably someone down the block who would be unperturbed about what has you all in a conniption fit. And it’s probably because they are wired differently.
It’s a small thing but it often serves to remind me of how much of what disturbs us in a matter of conditioning and past history: My wife was raised in a small apartment in eastern Europe, 5 people in space I would consider adequate for one and cramped for two. Noise and chaos doesn’t seem to bother her. She tunes it out. Me? When I work I want silence, perfect external peace and tranquility, or I choose to lose my internal sense of peace.
You probably were not aware of it when your wiring occurred. It may have been while you were young or while you were distracted, or it may have seeped in slowly over time. But you CAN change it. Not saying it is easy, just saying it can be done. I’ve struggled enough with some of my own wiring to have a deep sense of humility around the challenges involved. On the other hand, I’ve succeeded spectacularly in some cases, enough to give me inspiration to continue, knowing it is possible and the rewards are great indeed.
One thing I do know: It takes but an instant to walk through the “Gate of Change” and it can take as long as you like to get ready to walk through the gate.
As always, I share what I most want and need to learn.