Two prong process; inner and outer:
First, know thy self.
Gain self-awareness: journaling is very helpful; reflecting back on the day is akin to conducting an ‘After Action Review’. Develop your social mirror, cultivate friends who are working on themselves and are willing to give you constructive feedback and share insights. Write out your self-concept both present day and desired future. Write out a mission statement. Observe, observe, observe. Reflect, reflect, reflect.
Gain self-regulation, learn to manage your moods, master your emotions, create habits that build a better you. Come to know your triggers. Expand the space between stimulus and response. Listen to your self-talk, learn how to direct it in ways that serve you. You have a kingdom you must learn how to rule.
Second, come to know others.
As you strengthen your intra-personal skills, simultaneously develop your interpersonal skills, your social skills. The all-time classic, ‘How to Win Friends & Influence People’ by Dale Carnegie is as good a place as any to start.
“Any person capable of angering you becomes your master.” – Epictetus
“Little emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without realizing it.” – Vincent van Gogh
“The emotionally intelligent person is skilled in four areas: identifying emotions, using emotions, understanding emotions, and regulating emotions.” – John Mayer and Peter Salovey
As always, I share what I most want and need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier