One way to analyze human problems is via Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, beginning with our most fundamental physical needs (oxygen, water, food, sleep, shelter) then on to social/belonging/achievement needs and finally to self-actualization or even self-transcendence. At least in the developed world, most human problems are not of basic survival per se but are more between desire and reality i.e. what we want to be and what actually exists, the gap between what our life is and our expectations, desires, and values. We can break problems into 4 categories, remembering that the distinctions can blur and a problem can easily fit into more than one category:
- A reality problem — Something really does need to change.
- A perception problem — Is it reality? Or how we are looking at it?
- An expectation problem — How reasonable are our desires? (But then there is ‘all progress is due to unreasonable men who refuse to accept the status quo’)
- An acceptance problem — It is beyond our control or at least appears to be.
The Stoic approach is to cease trying to control what is beyond your control; the challenge with this is often our ability to impact reality is not a sharp boundary but a matter of degree and willingness to deploy effort and energy. How much and when? The Buddhist answer is that problems arise from our attachments or more specifically, our unwillingness to release when the time comes. The challenge there is defining ‘when the time comes’; What to hold on to, what to let go?
The psychological answer: it is important to go to the balcony and ask, ‘What problem am I really trying to solve?’ We humans frequently focus on symptoms rather than root causes; every couple knows that what triggers a fight is rarely the real or most important issue. Problems that reoccur can tell us much about ourselves. We may be having a ‘search for meaning’ crisis or we may have hopped on to the ‘hedonic treadmill’ of endless desire; forgetting that you can’t get enough of what you don’t need.
There will always be problems of one sort or another, life being life (as the Buddhist saying goes: ‘before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water; after enlightenment, chop wood, carry water’). The most effective solution to problems is to do your best to avoid their creation in the first place. Two keys are investing in developing a high degree of self-awareness/EQ and the creation (and ongoing revision) of a solid, well thought out life plan. As an addendum, I would add surrounding yourself with a strong, supportive cohort: in many respects you are the 5 people you choose to spend the most time with. Does your tribe spend its evenings and weekends on the couch, doom scrolling social media OR… exercising, moving, learning and growing?
Closing Quotes:
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” – Seneca, 4 BC–65 AD
“A problem well stated is a problem half solved.” – Charles F. Kettering, 1876–1958, holder of 140+ patents
“Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution.” – Norman Vincent Peale, 1898-1993, The Power of Positive Thinking
“It is not things themselves that disturb people, but their judgments about those things.” – Epictetus, 50-138 AD, Stoic philosopher, born a slave
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” – Viktor E. Frankl, 1905-1997, Man’s Search for Meaning
As always, I share what I most want and need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier
Note: Every effort has been made to properly source any 3rd person material. I am, however, a voracious reader. If anyone finds any unattributed material, pls let me know asap and I will be delighted to give credit where credit is due.
“All intelligent thoughts have already been thought; what is necessary is only to try to think them again.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832
