We humans have a tendency to judge ourselves by our best intentions, our noblest thoughts. However, we tend to judge others by our fears and insecurities, denying them the benefit of the doubt. We are generous interpreters of our own behavior and suspicious prosecutors of everyone else’s.

When judging ourselves When judging others
I was trying to help. They interfered.
I was under tremendous pressure. They lack self-control.
I was merely being direct. They were disrespectful.
I made an honest mistake. They are incompetent.
I was misunderstood. They revealed their true feelings.
I was protecting my interests. They were selfish.
I had incomplete data. They should have known better.
I meant well, even if it didn’t turn out. Look at the damage they caused.

Same behavior, different standards. It is all too easy to fall prey to the temptation to give ourselves the benefit of the doubt and others the burden of our fears, yet if we are to work together in harmony, we must grow in self-awareness and rise above this all-too-common habit. Our tendency does not have to be our destiny.

Closing Quotes:

“We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior.” – Stephen M. R. Covey, ‘The Speed of Trust’ 

“We are hard on others because we judge them by their actions, but soft on ourselves because we judge ourselves by our intentions.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“The human mind is exquisitely sensitive to potential danger. When an ambiguous statement admits several interpretations, the threatening one can command disproportionate attention.” – ChatGPT

“When you are behaving badly, you rely on the presence of mitigating circumstances. When others behave badly, you ignore the circumstances and blame their character.” – C.S. Lewis, ‘Mere Christianity’

“Most use two totally different sets of criteria for judging themselves versus others. We tend to judge others according to their actions. However, we judge ourselves by our intentions. Even if we do the wrong thing, if we believe our motives were good, we let ourselves off the hook.” – John Maxwell

As always, I share what I most want and need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier

Note: Every effort has been made to properly source any 3rd person material. I am, however, a voracious reader. If anyone finds any unattributed material, pls let me know asap and I will be delighted to give credit where credit is due.
“All intelligent thoughts have already been thought; what is necessary is only to try to think them again.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832