Bad things are going to happen; can’t help you there. But I can help you DEAL with the bad stuff. No magic wands, just proven techniques that when applied steadily and persistently will begin to move the needle a tiny bit every day, a tiny bit that will surprise you by how much it can compound to over the years, indeed, even have a “magical” impact over a lifetime!
1) RESPOND EFFECTIVELY: Folks frequently sabotage themselves by responding in short term, “hot” emotional states (angry, tired, discouraged) to situations that have long term consequences. “Sleep on it” is still excellent advice as is “Count to 10!” before responding with words you will later regret. Some folks imagine themselves on a balcony, looking down upon themselves/the situation, in order to get perspective, imaginary distance helping create emotional distance; others prefer “Going to the mountaintop”. Buddhism has a concept called the “The 2nd Arrow”. Life sometimes wounds us with the first arrow but all too often our response compounds the situation; this is the “2nd arrow”. Be smart, avoid dumb, don’t sabotage: avoid the 2nd arrow!
2) CREATE A SUPPORT NETWORK: Surround yourself with people who are positive, who have a purpose and a plan for their life, who will be your cheerleaders, coaches, and biggest fans! And make sure you return their energy! Birds of a feather flock together; you rarely see eagles hanging out with mocking birds.
3) CHANGE IS CERTAIN. ACCEPT IT, WORK WITH IT! Think of yourself as a sailing ship or glider. You work with the wind; you use it, you do NOT fight it. The problem isn’t that there are problems, problems are inevitable. The problem is that we don’t want there to be problems so we are not prepared, we get upset and/or respond poorly. Prepare! Plan! Execute! Evaluate and Repeat.
As always, I share what I most want/need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier
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