Most Ideas About Leadership are Wrong
Leadership is NOT a position; rather leadership is a frame of mind, an attitude. Most think that leadership flows from positional power yet in an…
The Seduction of Role Suction
Role suction refers to the tendency to drop back into familiar roles either from childhood, or previous relationships or jobs. Common roles are the joker,…
News Flash: You Don’t Have to ACT the way you FEEL
Feelings are more transitory than we sometimes realize. Emotions are frequently like the rain and the sun; they come and they go. And just as…
Who holds your strings?
As in puppet strings; as in who is in control? The only good answer is “I do!” Yet even in the 7th decade of my…
Three Ways to Make Stress Your Ally
The impact of stress tends to follow an “Inverted U”: Some level is motivational and helpful however past a certain point, some folks experience the…
Objectivius Shinium Syndromus
Objectivius Shinium Syndromus or “Shiny Object Syndrome” (SOS) is the tendency to let a new idea or concept or venture capture your imagination to a…
Six Toxic Relationship Beliefs
“A good relationship should not have problems.” “Couples who are in love, who have a good relationship, do not fight.” “If my partner has questions…
Never Compare Your Inside to Others’ Outside
When I was younger, I used to wonder when I’d finally make it to the “Other Side”, that land of milk and honey, that place…
Can You Self-Distance?
“Self-distancing” is the ability to stand outside one’s self and gain perspective, to in essence take a psychological “time-out”. It’s your mother’s “count to 10…
Shunning Inferior Pleasures
I will leave each reader to define for themselves what constitutes “inferior pleasures” for them; principles are simple, application can be complex. Yet every one…
Heart Like a River
Take a handful of salt and pour it into a drinking glass of water and the water becomes bitter, undrinkable. Pour the same handful into…
This is What I Do
How do you motivate yourself? How do you keep yourself going when you are tired, fatigued, falling behind? How do you tap into your best…
Preparing to Be Calm
Curbing my “intensity” has long been one of my personal/professionally growth goals and it is SO easy to fall for the “argue for your weakness…
Five Sure Fire Ways to Make Yourself Unhappy
1. Put Your Sense of Self-Worth into the hands of others. Never, ever let others define you or set your goals or priorities. “My Sense…
9 Questions to Raise Your Self-Awareness
1) When you have free time, what do you want to do? What takes no motivation for you to want to do it? 2) What…
Tell Me I’m Not Good Enough. Tell Me I Can’t. Tell Me You Don’t Think I’ve Got What It Takes. Please.
What motivates you? What puts fire in your belly? Fuels you? Stirs your blood? Failure defeats the mediocre but inspires winners to greater effort. The…
Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen (Part 1) Difficult conversations are anything that someone does not…
Upgrade Your “Attributional Style”
Assume the Best, NOT the Worst! Upgrade Your “Attributional style” Stuff Happens! Phone calls don’t always get answered or promptly returned, things do get forgotten.…
The Wisdom…and Challenge…of Asking for and Accepting Help
Many of us have a fierce streak of independence that makes it challenging to ask for help, heck even to accept help when it is…
Do You Know You?
There is very little difference between people BUT those little differences make a BIG difference. One difference is that those who create the life of…
How We Respond to Adversity Can Create Self-Fulfilling Prophecies
How do you view setbacks? As learning opportunity or as failure? Do you view your capabilities as fixed, somewhat set at birth, essentially carved in…
You Have Contributed to the Problem
Whatever challenges you are facing, odds are you had a hand in creating them. None of us are perfect; we all make mistakes, take wrong…
Do You Know Where Your Energy Goes?
Pay attention to your Energy Levels throughout your day; track what consumes your energy and what people, thoughts, and activities power you up. Start with…
Beware Your Reflexive Response!
Always choose a positive AND effective response. Does your response improve the situation? Move you toward your goals? Life happens in the sum of small…
Declining Drama’s Distraction
Drama can be incredibly alluring, attracting our attention, pulling us in with its siren song. The swirling emotions trigger our interest and emotions yet like…
Do You Have Negative Capability?
Negative Capability is “the willingness to embrace uncertainty, live with mystery, and make peace with ambiguity.” The phrase was first used by romantic poet John Keats,…