Personal or relationship drama (i.e. non-literary) refers to a situation blown out of proportion, or one involving unnecessary emotional turbulence or even made-up conflict. Drama occurs for multiple reasons, usually involving beneath-the-surface emotions rarely openly acknowledged. As the adage goes, couples rarely fight about what they are fighting about.
Drama can be
- a bid for attention
- a search for excitement
- an attempt to distract or distance ourselves from deeper or scarier problems
- an escape mechanism from accepting responsibility, from doing the introspective inner work (After all, if the problem is out there, there is no need to look within)
- a habit (especially if we grew up in an environment where chaos was the norm)
- an addiction: some are drawn to drama like a moth to flame, only feeling alive when fully enmeshed in the clutch of a seemingly major crisis, artificial or not
Just as misery loves company and negativity seeks out negativity, so too drama feeds on more drama. The easiest way to get rid of drama is to ignore it. Totally. Don’t respond to drama and drama will go elsewhere in search of more fertile ground for its energy draining nonsense. Understandably, not reacting to a dramatic situation or person is not always easy; slowing down to look at the car crash is a natural, human thing to do. But learning to sit with the (initial) discomfort of not responding is one of the most powerful things you can do. When drama comes into contact with cool, calm, composed, centered disinterest, it is neutralized.
If you want more peace in your life, be more peace. The moment you withdraw your energy from what you don’t want, you have a more energy for and a closer connection to what you do want.
“To see your drama clearly is to be liberated from it.” – Ken Keyes
“Be an observer. Not everything needs a reaction.” – Angelina PhouGui Chan-Ong
“When faced with senseless drama, spiteful criticisms and misguided opinions, walking away is the best way to stand up for yourself. To respond with anger is an endorsement of their attitude.” – Dodinksy, ‘In the Garden of Thought’
As always, I share what I most want and need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier