I decided a long time ago that life holds enough challenges without the handicap of me not being fully on board, fully committed to loving and supporting myself. That may sound like an obvious choice in theory but as Yogi Berra said, “In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.”
First, all too often we allow our inner voice to assume the role of inner critic, a “sub-personality that judges and demeans” us. You have the power to turn your inner voice into a powerful coach, cheerleader, even an always present therapist.
“Don’t let negative and toxic people rent space in your head.
Raise the rent and kick them out!”
– Robert Tew
Second, we hand over our power to others, to circumstances. Learn to take back your power. It may be true that life isn’t always fair and that perhaps you’ve been done wrong. But even if that is true, dwelling on it is NOT your highest leverage point, is not the solution to your challenges.
“The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself.
It is not in your environment;
it is not in luck or chance,
or the help of others;
it is in yourself alone.”
– Orison Swett Marden
Third, we must find the courage to be fully self-aware, to uncover the hidden agenda’s within. The routines that have operated for so long that we no longer question them, the childhood programs that run in the background. Fish discover water last. The best efforts in the world, the sagest advice imaginable is of scant use if not directed at the real problem. Couples rarely truly fight about the subject matter under discussion, what annoys us most in others is frequently what frightens us most in ourselves. Triggers are just that, triggers. The real issues are the fumes they ignite and the thoughts, beliefs and behaviors that created those fumes, allowed them to accumulate and not dissipate.
“You are not responsible for the programming you picked up in childhood.
However, as an adult, you are one hundred percent responsible for fixing it.”
– Ken Keyes, Jr.
As always, I share what I most want and need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier