What we intend to convey and what others hear are often two very different realities.

“You are yelling at me!” v. “Your voice is elevated.”

Two very different statements and yet both could be simultaneously true. 

“You are yelling at me!” both conveys my feelings as well as my interpretation of your intent. 

“Your voice is elevated.” is closer to a Spock like statement of fact, containing at most an observation.

If a couple is discussing an emotionally charged relationship issue, “You are yelling at me!” could be received as an attack, possibly implying the other was out of control or not rational, potentially further escalating the situation. Consider the unintended messages you may be sending or the meaning that someone, with a different background, world view, cultural history or emotional mindset, might reasonably take from your message. Remember that messages are much more than words, that content, tone, pace, volume, inflection, cadence, accent and most of all, body language, are all part of the message.

Closing Quotes: Three Principles of Communication:

“The meaning of any message is the response you receive.” 

“The biggest problem with communication is the illusion it just occurred.”

“You Cannot Not Communicate.” (you are broadcasting constantly)

As always, I share what I most want/need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier