Upward empathy is the ability to fully understand those more powerful than you: authority figures, managers, bosses; anybody with more prestige, or control than you. Hierarchies almost automatically distort perception, creating envy or resentment or unreasonable expectations of perfection, making it all too easy to create distorted mental caricatures. We often assume those with more power are insulated from suffering, when in fact their stress may simply be of a different nature.
Those who can see the world through a superior’s eyes can frame arguments and proposals that resonate with the leader’s concerns, advancing ideas more effectively.
Upward empathy doesn’t mean excusing bad behavior or surrendering accountability; instead, it means, “What pressures, information, or fears might they be balancing that I don’t see?” It reframes frustration as curiosity. It’s the recognition that bosses, executives, and decision-makers face pressures, insecurities, and trade-offs often invisible from below. Upward empathy means seeing the human being behind the role or title, seeing not just a demanding boss, but their challenges, constraints, and best intentions.
In contrast, downward empathy feels morally intuitive, comforting the struggling, supporting the less powerful. Upward empathy challenges ego: it requires humility, perspective-taking, and an absence of envy. True empathy is 360; a recognition of shared humanity without regard to status or position.
Closing Quotes:
“Empathy is about finding echoes of another person in yourself.” – Mohsin Hamid, b. 1971, British Pakistani novelist
“When you judge someone, you do not define them—you define yourself.” – Wayne Dyer 1940-2015, Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life
“Before you complain about your boss, imagine how your boss might describe their boss.” – Simon Sinek, b. 1973, Start with Why, The Infinite Game
“Empathy is not endorsement; it is understanding.” – Adam Grant, b. 1981, Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know, Hidden Potential: The Science of Achieving Greater Things, Option B
As always, I share what I most want and need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier
Note: Every effort has been made to properly source any 3rd person material. I am, however, a voracious reader. If anyone finds any unattributed material, pls let me know asap and I will be delighted to give credit where credit is due.
“All intelligent thoughts have already been thought; what is necessary is only to try to think them again.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832
