If you want to change someone’s mind, their mind must be open to change and, as much as we humans like to believe we are rational decision makers, we are far more creatures of emotion. Our self-concept, our tribal affiliations, our cultural attachments and personal experiences, our passions and sentiments… these carry much more weight than a list of facts and figures we can always find ways to doubt and discount.

If people feel attacked, they tend to dig in their heels and re-commit to their position (the backfire effect). The “I’m right and you are wrong” often comes across as superior and smug which rarely goes over well plus stridency tends to harden people’s opinions and can even create bystander sympathy.  

So what does work? Try a dose of openness and humility! David Robson in ‘The Laws of Connection: The Scientific Secrets of Building a Strong Social Network’ suggests a simple question, sincerely asked: “I was interested in what you’re saying. Can you tell me more about how come you think that?”

Demonstrating a willingness to listen and learn has the almost magical effect of creating reciprocal response. Once folks are no longer vested in defending against an attack on their belief system, a more genuine exploratory conversation can occur. 

Closing Quotes:

“Reason is no match for passion.” – Voltaire, 1694-1778

“A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.” – Ben Franklin, 1706-1790

“(W)e tend to dig in our heels when we are presented with facts that cause us to feel bad about our identity, self-worth, worldview, or group belonging.” – Gleb Tsipursky, behavioral scientist

As always, I share what I most want and need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier

Note: Every effort has been made to properly source any 3rd person material. I am, however, a voracious reader. If anyone finds any unattributed material, pls let me know asap and I will be delighted to give credit where credit is due.
“All intelligent thoughts have already been thought; what is necessary is only to try to think them again.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832